Stay the Night
by Dreamy-Heichou
Summary: Even though Eren and Levi have been dating for a few months now, they have never spent the night together. It always seemed like Levi was trying to avoid it, and now that Eren finally got the chance to do so, he understands why: the man is haunted by memories of his old life he hasn't been able to get rid of, something Eren can sadly relate to.


Eren's eyes are heavy. He can feel himself slowly getting out of the deep sleep he was in, gradually regaining consciousness. For a moment he is confused about where he is and what time it is, then he sees the red digits coming from a radio alarm indicating 3 a.m. and he remembers.

Last night, he stayed at Levi's place for the first time. The raven always found excuses for them not to spend the night together, even though they started dating a few months ago, and Eren never tried to push his luck. He agrees with Levi to go slowly with their relationship, to not rush anything and get reacquainted with each other first.

Even if they both remember their past lives, both remember the feelings they both shared then, now is a different time and they have different lives. They ended up dating quite rapidly though, but being in a relationship didn't change the pace they had agreed on. Levi is a very secret person and Eren respects that. He is too, or at least he doesn't know how to express what he feels well, even though he is better at it than Levi.

However, last night was different. They ended up going to Levi's apartment and the man didn't say anything when it should have been time for Eren to go back home. Instead, he silently led him to his bedroom for them to spend the night.

A small smile cracks on Eren's face at the memory of their previous night together, and he closes his eyes once again. He is about to go back to sleep when suddenly he hears heavy breathing next to him, wondering how he didn't hear it earlier, and turns to look at Levi. Worry overtakes his sense and his stomach drops once he is face to face with the man.

He is sitting on the bed, head in his hands, his eyes wide open but looking at nothing in particular. His breathing is extremely quick and heavy, and he also looks like he is sweating a lot. Eren approaches a tentative hand towards the raven's arm, not really sure of what to do in this situation. Is he having a panic attack?

"Levi?"

The moment his hand touches his pale skin, Levi flinches and slaps Eren's hand away, his eyes looking frantic and frightened, a small whimper of distress coming out of his lips. Eren immediately backs away, putting both of his hands next to his head to show him he means no harm. He feels like a knife just went through his heart.

He has never seen Levi in such a state, and thus has no idea what to do to calm him down. It doesn't even look like Levi recognized him, still trapped in whatever illusions his brain created to the point of rendering him like this, and he has to try really hard not to get too close to his frightened boyfriend.

"Levi, it's me! Eren! Do you hear me?"

The man seems to register his words, or maybe his tone, that Eren tried to make as soft and gentle as he could, and looks at him with eyes wide open, his body shaking uncontrollably.

"E-Eren?" His voice is weak and so low that Eren almost didn't hear it, but he understood what he said by the movement of his lips.

"Yes. It's Eren. I'm not going to hurt you."

Before he has time to comprehend what is happening, Eren can feel Levi's arms encircling his chest, his head hiding inside the croak of his neck. The sudden movement takes his breath away for a second before he can regain his composure and focus on the man wrapped around his body. He can feel more than see Levi's body shaking now, and he restrains himself from touching his lover, not yet sure if he can without scaring him like earlier.

"E-Eren…"

A small sob escapes his lips at the same time as his name, and the brunet's heart shatters at the sound. Never has he seen nor heard Levi cry before, and seeing how fragile he is in that moment makes his eyes start to sting. They are the same person they used to be but at the same time they aren't, Eren tries to remember. Levi's armor isn't as thick as it used to be. He is more vulnerable than before.

A surge of love and tenderness overwhelms him and he finally acts on his pulsion, wrapping his arms around Levi's shaking figure, a hand slowly petting his hair to comfort him while he whispers sweet nothings and reassurances in his ears. Levi's grip only grows tighter at Eren's actions, and the brunet takes it as a sign he can go on, putting all of his feelings inside the soft kisses he leaves on the crown of his hair and the affectionate caresses on his back.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Eren rocks him back and forth, in relative silence, waiting for Levi's shaking to stop or for him to say something. He thinks he knows what happened, but he won't ask nor force the man to say anything.

Eventually, Levi relaxes in his arms but doesn't come out of his hiding place into Eren's shoulder. His breathing is calmer, slower, but Eren waits for the man to take the first step.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," Levi says weakly, his voice hoarse from his crying.

"That's why we never spent the night together before?" Levi slowly nods against his neck but says nothing, and once again Eren waits for him to break the silence.

"I… I have nightmares every night. It's the same one over and over again. And I- I can't…"

"I have nightmares too. You know I won't judge you on this."

Levi weakly nods once again, his hand coming to cover the one Eren is using to prevent them from falling backwards. He caresses it slowly, softly stroking his knuckles in a calming way. Eren knows how much Levi struggles to express himself sometimes, knows he's probably trying to clear the mess in his head.

"I hate being this… _weak_. I hate the fact that this memory is haunting me every night. But I can't- I can't _control_ it. And I'm so _so_ tired, Eren."

The brunet continues to draw circles on Levi's back, showing the man he is there with him, _for_ him. He has seen the bags under his eyes, noticed them a while ago, but he didn't ask. He knows Levi wouldn't have answered, knows Levi is telling him this now because he witnessed his breakdown, but he also agreed to Eren staying the night, so surely it means he was ready to talk about it anyway. Eren would hate for Levi to tell him all of this only because he feels cornered and forced to tell him everything. He knows it's false, but it still crosses his mind.

A few minutes of silence after, Levi slowly starts to tell Eren all about what is haunting him. It is a memory the brunet wasn't even aware of, something that happened while he was busy somewhere else. The explanation behind Zeke arriving to Shiganshina despite Levi being with him before. He knew it meant that something might have happened to Levi, but he had other things to think about then.

However, this... What Levi went through... It breaks his heart and a wave of guilt washes over him. He is partially to blame for this. He is partially responsible for Zeke trying to get away from Levi in order to join him in Shiganshina, to the point of making the lightning spear Levi had put inside of him explode. It's partially his fault Levi has nightmares every night now, seeing the moment of the explosion, feeling all the emotions that he experienced then.

Surprise. Shock. Fear. Pain. _Agony_.

Levi starts shaking again while telling Eren everything about his nightmare and the brunet can only bring him closer to him. At some point, Levi starts scratching the right side of his face and pulling at his fingers on his right hand, and Eren immediately stops him. He takes Levi's right hand, holding it tightly, while caressing his face affectionately.

"Shh. You're okay now. It's over." He kisses his face, first on his right eye, then down his cheek while stroking the other one with his thumb. "You're not hurt anywhere. It's just a memory."

Eren keeps on showering Levi's face in soft kisses until he can feel him relax under his touch, his shaking gone. He can feel Levi gripping his hand back, a little bit too strongly, but he doesn't mind it. It shows how much Levi is in pain, and letting him hold his hand in a tight grip is the only thing he can do for him, besides being here for him.

Eventually they lie down on the bed, facing each other, their hands still linked between their two bodies, Eren's other hand stroking Levi's side slowly. The raven closes his eyes for a few minutes, enjoying the contact on his skin, squeezing Eren's hand from time to time, showing him he's not asleep.

Levi is the first one to break the silence, bringing a hand towards Eren's head and stroking his long hair which isn't tied up like usual. He puts a few brown locks behind his ear carefully, clearing his boyfriend's face to see him better, and Eren smiles fondly at him.

"What are your nightmares about?" His voice is very low, careful.

Eren studies his face to understand the sudden question, until he can feel Levi's thumb caressing his hand again. Levi isn't good when talking about his feelings, or feelings in general, but he still tries from time to time. Eren has noticed his body would show sign of his unease in those moments, since Levi talks more with actions than with words, and this is one of them. The raven doesn't like being under the spotlight and would rather listen to someone else -Eren- talk than talk himself.

Eren tells him all about his nightmares. They are never the same, unlike Levi, but they are enough to wake him up at night, drenched in sweat, his heartbeat alarmingly fast. Sometimes they are about the day the Colossal Titan appeared, breaking the walls, resulting in his mother's doom. Sometimes they are just about Titans in general, devouring people, sometimes he can recognize those people and see the despair on his former comrades' faces. He also dreams about his time in Marley, the battle in Liberio, and also the one in Shiganshina later on. Levi listens to him intensely, still running his hand in his hair, his grey eyes never leaving his teal ones.

Eventually, their conversation strays from nightmares to their past memories, and from bad memories to good ones. They talk about their days in the Survey Corps, of the friends they haven't seen in a while, of the moments they spent together. There had been very few towards the end, and Eren bits his lip in front of the nostalgia on Levi's face. There were so many unspoken things between them back then, so many missed occasions for them to be together.

Eren bring his hand to Levi's jaw, cupping his face while looking intensely in his eyes, a tender and wistful smile on his lips.

"I never got to tell you how I felt back then," he softly whispers.

It started as a hero crush, but as he got to really know the man hidden behind the mask, he realized how alike they were and how they understood each other perfectly. Levi helped him grow and become a better person, more assured, and along the way his feelings towards the man became more intense and less innocent. However, Eren had been too preoccupied with freeing Paradis and his people. He had too much on his shoulder to take time to settle and listen to his desires. He had to protect everyone from their fates, Levi included.

It had been bad timing for them.

Now they have a chance to start all over again, to make things right and follow their heart's desires instead of their soldier's duties. They can be what they couldn't be before, say what they couldn't say. They can be together without endangering anyone, not even each other. They can be selfish for once and stop thinking about others. They had accomplished their duties; they deserved some rest.

Levi smiles softly at Eren's words, bringing the brunet closer to him, kissing his forehead delicately before pressing his own against his. They look at each other for a while, without saying anything, letting the silence envelop them like a warm blanket. Their hands are still leisurely stroking the other's face, or squeezing the other's hand.

"Stay with me," Levi whispers after a few minutes looking fondly at each other. Eren is first surprised by the sudden request, but his features relax at the look of pure adoration on the raven's face. "Not just tonight."

He doesn't answer, doesn't feel the need to when he can bring Levi even closer to him and kiss him deeply, passionately, putting all his feelings inside the movement of his lips against his. Levi seems eager to reply with his own kisses, showing his lover he means every word he said and even more, the ones he cannot say but which Eren can understand with his touches and body language.

They are inside a bubble of silence and tenderness, relishing the other's presence and their closeness. It's like time itself has stopped around them, and they savor this sensation by kissing, touching, conveying everything that they feel. The moon is the only witness of this very private and intimate exchange between the two men, bathing their bodies in its surreal light and illuminating their skins with a silver glow.

Eventually their eyes close, the face of their significant other burnt behind their eyelids with promises of a peaceful night and pleasant dreams. Their hearts are full, appeased by the warmth of their bodies flushed against each other, their breathing meddling with one another. And in that instant, they both make the same wish, born from the same corner of their minds and souls.

_I don't want to spend another night without you by my side._


End file.
